I Cry Real Tears
by maybesomeday8
Summary: I've got a heart thats beating inside / sometimes it breaks / and when it aches / my eyes cry real tears - Trory /
1. I wasn't waiting until you came along

  
Disclaimer : How many languages can you say I don't own anything in?  
  
Im glad you guys are liking this so far. I decided to continue in the 1st person, but understand I always have the right to change my mind :) Also, Im sorry this took me so long to put up, I was on vacation for a few days (ahh, sunny places are nice!). Anyways, here!  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"****  
****Part Two**  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Everyday is torture. Going to school and seeing her there, being on the receiving end of the glares she throws out. Even when she's sending me death looks, I can't help but notice how beautiful she is. The way she gets aggravated when her hair keeps falling in her face, the way her cheeks tint pink when she blushes, the way she bites her lip when she's upset or nervous and hell, even the way her eyes flash with anger when we're having on of our bantering sessions. Everything about her gets to me and I hate myself for letting it. Lets face it, guys like me aren't programmed to love. We're taught to seek, catch and conquer. I've done it all my life, until now. Until the day I realized I could never return to my player ways because I want, no I _need_ her. Patience is a virtue I have yet to master.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
"Good morning, Mary," I greeted with a smirk, casually leaning against the lockers.  
  
Rory's locker slammed shut and revealed her looking quite upset. "What do you want, Tristan?"  
  
Losing the smirk, I decided to not mess with her today. She obviously wasn't in the mood. "Nothing. What's wrong?" I asked, a little more concern then I would've liked creeping into my voice.  
  
Rory gave me a weird look and bent down to pick up her bag. "Thecoffeemakerbroke," she muttered.  
  
I couldn't help it. I swear the eyebrow raised by itself and the smirk appeared by its own self will. "What was that?"  
  
Sighing, she repeated. "The coffee maker broke. I was running late, too, so I didn't have time to stop by Luke's."  
  
The look on her face was just so devastated, I felt my heart crack. Glancing around nd the nearly empty hall and then back to her, an idea suddenly formed. "What would you do if I said I could get you some coffee?"  
  
Rory looked up at me with wide, curious eyes, but they quickly narrowed. "Don't mess with me this morning, DuGrey," she said and began walking down the hall. Away from me. Always, away from me.  
  
Turning quickly, I grabbed her elbow. "No, seriously. What if I could get you some, say by the time first hour is over?"  
  
"This isn't going to lead to me having to pay you back with some kind of gross act, is it? Please tell me now before this goes any further," she asked skeptically.  
  
Grinning, I shook m head. "Nope. Repayment free, promise."  
  
With the skeptical look still firmly in place, she stepped closer, causing my pulse to quicken slightly. She's the only girl who has ever done that to me. "Continue," she urged.  
  
"I've got some connections.. I can sneak -"  
  
"No, Tristan," she interrupted. "I appreciate the gesture, but Im not letting you get in trouble just to get me coffee."  
  
"Its no big deal," I shrugged. "Its only first period."  
  
"But Tristan -" she objected, but I quickly shushed her.  
  
"Okay, if you wont let me go, how about at least letting me get you some after school? We can go grab some coffee and study for Roman's chem test together."  
  
Rory bit her lip in contemplation and then glanced at me questioningly. "I don't know.. Why would you want to study with me?"  
  
_Because I love you_, I thought, but I merely shrugged. "Thats what friends do, right?" I asked, struggling not to spit the word _friends_ out.  
  
A look of surprise crossed her face. "Are we friends?" she asked quietly.  
  
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I smiled weakly. "I hope so."  
  
Her expression suddenly changed to indefinite happiness. "Then we are. I -" She started, but the bell cut her off. "I have to get to class," she finished lamely.  
  
I nodded and waved. "I'll see you at lunch," I called, turning towards my own class. Friends... well, at least it was a step up from being hated.  
  
  
******  
  
  
By the time the lunch bell rang four hours later, my day had gotten better. I had actually aced the History quiz, which was pretty amazing, considering I spent most of the study time studying the back of Rory's neck. Tossing my books into my locker, I turned to the sounds of melodic laughter. _Her _ laughter. It hit my eardrums hard as I made my way down the hall. There, leaning against the cool metal of Rory's locker was the object of my desire and another familiar face. Ryan Sieks, one of my oldest friends. Obviously they were having a very in-depth conversation, by the way her face lit up with animation and she gestured wildly. I stared in fascination until Ryan leaned in closer, whispering something that made her laugh, blush and then playfully slug him in the shoulder. Unable to take anymore, I covered the last few feet between us.  
  
"Hope Im not interrupting anything," I said after clearing my throat and smiled. Appearances can be deceiving.  
  
Rory glanced up. "Oh, hey, Tristan." God I love the way my name sounds coming from her lips.  
  
"DuGrey," Ryan greeted with a smirk. "I'll see you after school, Rory."  
  
"Okay. Thanks again, Ryan," Rory waved. When he had faded from view, she turned towards me, her smile vanishing immediately. "Whats wrong?" She asked.  
  
Whats wrong? Oh, the scowl was still present on my face. Swallowing it, I shrugged and grinned. "Nothing. What were you doing with Sieks?"  
  
"We're working on a project for Literature and he offered to take me home so we could start working on it." She explained, closing her locker door.  
  
"What?" I nearly screamed, turning to face her. " I thought we -"  
  
"Oh, my God," Rory squeaked, her hand coming up to her mouth. "Tristan, I am so sorry, I totally forgot. I'll go catch up with him, we'll switch.." Her voice trailed off as I shook my head.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Mary. Some other time. I'll see you later," I called over my shoulder as I pretended to head towards the cafeteria. Instead, I turned down another hall and stalked out the door.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
Pulling up in front of the cold, dark mansion Im so unfortunate to call home, I stopped. Why was it such a big deal that we couldn't hang out after school? I couldn't figure that out. So what? She had a project to work on. No big deal, its not like she blew me off for no reason. Releasing a tormented sigh, I got out of the car - a brand new silver Camaro, a present from my father for not messing up the DuGrey name yet this year, and climbed the large stone steps to the house. Even though I've lived here my entire life, I still find it very impersonal. The outside, with all its lush green lawns and fountains, and the inside, with its dark halls and antique furniture, it was the last place I wanted to be, but I needed a change of clothes and some money before I left for my destination. Pushing open the large oak door, I entered the front hall, which still looks as if it belonged in some kind of horror movie. To my left was the sitting room, full of extremely expensive furniture that was never used. To the right was another hall that led to the dining room, where so many disconnected family dinners have taken place. Usually where my father would belittle me in front of whomever might be present. Up ahead lay my destination, the enormous spiral staircase that led to my bedroom. Taking three ee stairs at a time, I made it to my door in record time. Slipping inside, I let out a pent up breath as I wandered around the personal haven, changing my clothes as I went. Grabbing my duffel bag, I threw in some clothing and my wallet and headed back downstairs. Ignoring my instincts to flee out the back door, I went down the front stairs, colliding with my dear old dad. Of all the times he decides to be home, today has to be one of them.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" was his immediate question.  
  
Deciding to push his buttons as only I can, I merely smirk and shrug. "I actually decided the circus might serve me better. I mean, who can go wrong when you've been schooled in the art of clowns?"  
  
As predicted, he rolled his eyes and glared at me. "Where are you going, Tristan?"  
  
"I've been summoned to join the Insane Clown Posse," I reply. Whats the deal with clowns today? I don't know.  
  
"Tristan," My father said warningly.  
  
"What do you care anyways?" I snapped, suddenly angry. I hate when people think they can control me. "Shouldn't you bee off teaching King Eric the way s of the family business? He's your heir, not me."  
  
"Don't take that tone with me young man," he barked.  
  
"Fine, I wont. I'll be home when I get home," I said, slamming the door behind me. I didn't expect him to follow and he didn't. No, thats something a father who actually cared would do.  
  
  
******  
  
  
Three hours later I was parked at a gas station just outside of Stars Hollow. Rory lives there. I don't know why I came here, its just where I ended up. Sighing, I put the car into reverse when suddenly a face popped in my window.  
  
"Hello," the woman greeted.  
  
Blinking in surprise, I smiled weakly. "Hi. What can I do for you?"  
  
The woman pulled back slightly. "Well, you look like an extremely strong young man. My car broke down a little ways away, so I had to walk here to use the phone cuz the cell died, but it seems thats the latest fad, cuz the phone here isn't working either. Anyways, I have a big box in my car that I need someone to help me cart home and I know you don't know me, but Im asking nicely and hey, I'll even buy you some coffee. Or a coke, if you're one of them odd people who don't drink coffee..."  
  
I couldn't help smiling at this woman's impromptu speech. "Okay, sure, hop in."  
  
Squealing happily, she was in the passengers seat in less then a second. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"  
  
I merely nodded. "So where's your car?" I asked as we turned back onto the road.  
  
"Just up a ways," she said. "There!" She exclaimed a few minutes later.  
  
Pulling over the side of the road, my heart leapt into my throat as I recognized the vehicle. The woman jumped out and gestured for me to follow. Together, we managed to get the very large - and heavy box from her car into the trunk of mine. Once we settled back into the seats, I turned to her.  
  
"You're Miss Gilmore, aren't you?"  
  
"Or so I've been told. But, really, its Lorelai. Do I know you?" She asked, staring at me suspiciously.  
  
"Umm, no, I go to school with Rory." I stammered, feeling the wrath of her gaze. Suddenly the feeling lifted and she smiled at me.  
  
"Ah, you're a Chiltonite. That explains the ride," she said, taking an appreciative look around the inside of the car. "Well, in that case, you can come back to the house and I'll give you coffee there. Oh wait, the maker broke." She frowned.  
  
"Its no big deal," I dismissed, revving up the engine.  
  
"I must do something, you were a nice lad and helped a damsel in distress. I know, we can go to Luke's!" She grinned, pointing the way into the town. When we pulled up in front of a building, mysteriously labeled "Hardware Store," she turned to me again. "I never did get your name. Care to help remedy this misfortune?"  
  
"Ah, Tristan," I said. "Tristan DuGrey."   
  
The look on her face could only be labeled as one of disbelief.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
Bleh. I know this chapter was kind of, gah, but next time things start to heat up. How will Rory react when Lorelai pulls up in front of their house with Tristan by her side?  
  
  
  
TBC...  
  



	2. I wanna be the only one

  
_Disclaimer : _Maybe if I close my eyes tight and wish really hard these will belong to me. *does so* Oh well, guess not._  
__ Feedback : _You all know how i feel about it. :)_  
__ Authors Note : _Hey, hey! Heres another fic from me. I can see you all frowning from here. Anyways, please don't be put off by the song-fic-ish beginning. This story is intended to be very angsty, but as usual, I promise a happy trory ending. I hope you enjoy :)_  
__  
__ Post Note Thing : _Ummm.. Im not all that great at writing in 1st person, but Im going to try. This story is an attempt from Tristan's POV. If it sucks all that much, I'll probably revert to 3rd person. Just thought I'd clear that up.  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"****  
****Part One**  


  
  
  
  
  
Its a cold world. All these people with all this money, everything a person could want at their fingertips. Its a shame that most of them don't realize that they're missing something. Its not something that can be bought or something that can even be grasped, its something that just is. Most of the people in my world are as cold as the world we live in. They're hearts have turned to stone after so many years of scheming and alienating those who actually cared about them. My parents are like that. My father, he's some big hot shot CEO of one company or another, I've given up trying to learn what he does. I rarely see him. My mother, she's nothing more then a trophy wife that my father only married because he got her pregnant with my brother. I, being the second child, don't matter much in their eyes. They've got the good son, the one who will take over the company once my father steps down, the one who has never done anything wrong. Me, Im just a backup, in case something might ever happen to the "prince" as I've come to call him. We've never gotten along.  
  
The kids in my world, they're almost as cold and conniving as their parents. Some of them aren't too bad, its just hard to see that at my school, Chilton. I suppose I would be considered popular, some might say that Im the crowned prince of the school, but thats unnecessary. The friends I have are out of necessity, those forced upon me at an early age so I could make the "right" connections in the world. None of them know me. School might've been a place for me to strut my stuff, but thats hardly me anymore. I used to surround myself with airheaded girls, the cliché "dumb blonde", but again, thats not me anymore. I've changed. I've seen what the other side has to offer and now I want that too.   
  
It was sophomore year. I, being the jerk I once was, found a new torture subject, a new conquest. A beautiful young girl by the name of Lorelai Gilmore the Third to some, Rory to most and Mary to me. We had a love/hate type of relationship, that was strained at best. All of my life I've had girls fall at my feet, begging for me to pay an inch of attention to them. But her, she didn't care. She was different. She came from the other side, she _was_ the other side. She was a Gilmore, true, one of the most influential families in Hartford, but she wasn't _one_ of them. She didn't care what anybody thought, she did what she wanted, even if that meant coming across as a bit odd. She hadn't grown up like we had and most of us shun her for it. Personally, I think everyone was just jealous.I know I am.  
  
Rory became more then a simple conquest to me as time wore on. Each day I saw her, I grew increasingly taken with her wit, her beauty, her heart. But there was that single obstacle in my way. Her boyfriend. Months after she first came to Chilton, we met at a party, after I was publicly dismissed by Summer, Dean, thats her boyfriend, had just broken up with her. I don't know what happened.. the time was wrong, but the feelings, they were there. They were right. We kissed, she cried, she ran, I was crushed. Time wore on and we started to form an amicable friendship, which I had to go and ruin. You'd think that one who has attended such an academically challenged school such as Chilton, all their life, I would be smarter. But no, I played the role of the idiot and ruined a good thing. Later I would continue to act like a child, thus prompting her to say she hated me. I've heard the words before, from my father many times, but never had they cut through my heart in such a way. Never had those three words hurt so much.  
  
  
_You ought to be ashamed of yourself,__  
__The way you talk down to me__  
__Oh, baby__  
__And didn't anybody ever teach you__  
__To act more respectfully_  
  
  
She doesn't see me. Nobody does. All anyone sees is the facade I put on everyday. Its like wearing a mask all the time, eventually it just becomes a part of you. I may have grown up here, in the cold, sterile environment of Hartford's elite, but I don't belong here. Im different from the other people here. Somewhere beneath all the hurt and anger I know that is inside of me, I do have a heart. A beating heart, that yearns to be loved the way I love. To be loved by her.  
  
  
_I'm telling you that I'm only human, too__  
__Don't you realize__  
__Look at my face__  
__What do you see in my eyes__  
__When a part of me just dies__  
__  
__I cry real tears__  
__I have real fears__  
__I've got a heart that's beating inside__  
__Sometimes it breaks, and when it aches__  
__My eyes cry real tears_  
  
  
Eventually I'll get through. If theres one good thing that growing up the way I have, I have learned that nothing is impossible. You reach for the stars and eventually you're going to get there. My goal is a little lower then that, but Im reaching out all the same. Reaching for her, to make her see that Im not the asshole she thinks I am. To make her understand that I love her, that I_ am_ capable of loving her the way she deserves.  
  
  
_You treat me like you think I'm made of stone__  
__Like when I'm cut I don't bleed__  
__Oh baby__  
__Don't you know that I'm flesh and bone__  
__So what do you want from me__  
__  
__I'm telling you that I'm only human, too__  
__Don't you realize__  
__Look at my face__  
__What do you see in my eyes__  
__When a part of me just dies__  
__  
__I cry real tears__  
__I have real fears__  
__I've got a heart that's beating inside__  
__Sometimes it breaks, and when it aches__  
__My eyes cry real tears__  
__  
__There's something called the golden rule__  
__Some day you'll wish you've followed it more__  
__You've been a fool__  
__My love is truer than any love you'll find__  
__But I'm worth so much more, and so is my time  
  
  
_But for now, I'll sit back and watch. Im a strong believer in fate and I know that fate will bring us together.   
  
  
  
*********  
  
  
Eh, not as strong as a beginning as I had hoped. Ah well. This isn't just going to be Tristan's thoughts, this is really just the prologue, to get the whole feeling of the story out to ya'll. Umm.. yes, this is a Trory, because, well, it is. Stay tuned, there will be some interaction in the next chapter (and probably 3rd person. This sucked!).  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
  
*P/S. The song used is "I Cry Real Tears" by Tonya Mitchell*  
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	3. Its just some kind of phase im going thr...

_Disclaimer :_ Nuh-uh, don't own anything, 'cept what I make up.  
  
_Feedback : _Spanks a ton for your opinions and input so far, I appreciate ya.  
  
_Authors Note :_ This chapter is a filler chapter. So was the last one. I apologize. But this _ is_ leading somewhere, I promise. You'll understand once you read this incredibly short (and pointless) chapter.   
  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"****  
****Part Three**  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I didn't know how to react. There's a line that had never entered my vocabulary until she entered my life. I mean, look at the situation. One day, one conversation and we're entering friendship-dom. Plans are made, later broken and I run, just to clear my head of it all and then I end up bringing her mother of all people home. God sure has a twisted way of bringing things together sometimes.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Biting the inside of my mouth somewhat nervously, I followed the directions Lorelai tossed out until we were finally parked in front of the Gilmore residence. I sighed when I saw the black Mercedes parked in the driveway. Ryan was still there.  
  
"Well, since you're here, you want to come in?" Lorelai asked, but frowned a second later. "You have to come in anyways. I can't carry that inside myself."  
  
Shaking my head, I exited the car, my hands growing increasingly sweaty. Popping the trunk, the two of us grunted and groaned, finally managing to get it to the front door with minimal injuries and some choice words.  
  
"ROOOOORRRRRRRRRRRY," Lorelai screeched.  
  
A few seconds later the front door flew open. "Did you forget your keys aga - um, Tristan?" Rory exclaimed in confusion.  
  
Shrugging, I helped Lorelai get the box into the living room before turning to Rory. "Hey," I smiled. Yeah, Im real smooth.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked as Ryan came into the room.  
  
"Fancy meeting you here, DuGrey," He smirked.  
  
"Ryan," I managed civilly. "I was helping your mom," I said to Rory.  
  
"I noticed. But what I haven't quite figured out is _why_ you were helping her."  
  
"Cuz Im an astoundingly nice guy?" I grinned and she rolled her eyes.  
  
"Truth, please."  
  
Lorelai stepped in then. "Well, see, the jeep broke down and I kind of ran into him at the gas station and bribed him into helping me with a hot steamy cup of Luke's goodness.."  
  
All three pairs of eyes turned to look at her. "Luke's goodness?" Rory finally asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
A strange look came over her face. "Oh, teenagers these days. Perverted minds, I tell you. And here I thought my daughter was sweet and pure. Oh, woe is me," Lorelai cried, falling dramatically onto the couch. Applause and an over exaggerated bow followed.  
  
"What is this thing, anyways?" I asked, tapping the box I had helped with.  
  
Lorelai smiled evilly and shot a knowing look in response to Rory's questioning expression. "This, dear friends, is the future of all Gilmore Parties," she announced, ripping off the top of the box. Inside lay one of the most extensive karaoke systems I've ever laid eyes on.   
  
"Wow," Rory breathed. "Luke is going to kill you."  
  
"Nonsense, child. He will do my evil bidding and join in the festivities."  
  
"Festivities?" I asked.  
  
Lorelai nodded excitedly. "Yes! We're having our annual Spring Karaoke Party this weekend. Only this time we'll do it in style!"  
  
"The whole town comes and we sing into the night. Of course theres a ton of alcohol involved and in the end, theres always three bald, fat men singing Britney Spears." Rory explained before shuddering. "Not a pretty sight."  
  
All I could do was laugh. Yes, she was definitely odd. But thats what made her _her_."I see."  
  
"Hey, you should come!" Lorelai suddenly exclaimed. "You, too," she shot to Ryan.  
  
I glanced in Rory's direction and she gave a positive nod of the head. Smiling slightly, I agreed. "Sure, count me in."  
  
"Ryan?" Rory asked.  
  
"Um, I'll have to check my schedule," he said evasively. He must've seen the relieved look on my face because a second later he smiled at me. "On second thought, I'd love to."  
  
"Great," Lorelai clapped her hands. "Be here Saturday, no earlier than six, no later than eight."  
  
Oh, if only we had known what we were getting ourselves into..  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
Up Next ...... Tristan takes the stage.... (very cliché sounding, but I promise its different from all the other "sing rory a love song" stories =D)  
  
  
TBC...  



	4. And it hurts me more than you know

  
_Disclaimer : _Yours is mine and mine is yours. Sharing makes the world go round. (in other words, Im borrowing these characters/places etc.)  
  
_Feedback :_ Thanks for all the nice comments you people have left me. Feel free to do it again :)  
  
_Authors Note : _Well the verdict is in, I suppose. Im going to *try* to continue in first person, but be warned I've been known to change my mind at the speed of light. Theres a whole load of things I don't own in this chapter. Namely, the characters (duuur) and of course the songs, which are copyrighted to their respective artists/companies. (see below) Anyways, enjoy.  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"****  
****Part Four**  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Do you have your songs picked out for tomorrow?" Rory asked, coming up behind me in the hallway after third period.  
  
I turned, the confusion I felt mirrored on my face. "Hello, nice to see you too. What songs?"  
  
Rory crossed her arms with an exasperated look upon her face. "Good morning, Tristan. The songs for the party. Everyone has to sing two songs. Its the golden rule."  
  
"You expect me to sing?" I raised an eyebrow, shutting my locker. She nodded. "What if I don't sing the required two songs?"  
  
Narrowing her eyes, she gazed at me, unknowingly making me feel almost inadequate. She has these amazing powers over me. "Then you'll be left to face my mother and whatever she chooses to do with you. Last year she made Kirk put on a pink harem girl outfit and parade around the town. Don't underestimate the powers of my mothers persuasion."  
  
Chuckling, I fell in step beside her as we continued down the hall. "Okay, so I'll sing."  
  
"I'll make sure earplugs are available to all."  
  
"Hey, you invited me to this shindig," I reminded her when we can to a stop in front of her locker.   
  
"Correction, my mother invited you." Rory stuck out her tongue childishly.  
  
"You agreed to it," I pointed out.  
  
Sighing, she turned to face me with a grin. "True. Better you to be embarrassed than I. You don't want to know what my mother has planned for me."  
  
"C'mon, sure I do," I jabbed, taking the familiar stance against the lockers.  
  
"Nuh-uh. You'll know soon enough."  
  
"Roooooorrrrry," I whined, a smirk finding its place on my face.  
  
Rory slammed her locker and stalked down the hall. "See you tomorrow, DuGrey," she shot at me as she disappeared around the corner.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
I needed a song. A song to show Rory how I felt, without actually having to tell her.   
  
No. Shaking my head, I rid that image. It was too cliché, even for someone like me. Besides, I doubted she would even realize that the song was meant for her. Sometimes she was too naive for her own good. Flipping through my extensive cd collection, my hand suddenly stopped. I had the perfect song. Of course, I needed a second one, but I figured I'd just wait and wing that one. But this one, I had to do.   
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
The next morning I woke early, showered and ate. Rory had cornered me after sixth period the previous day, demanding that I had to come over and help them set up for the party, upon Lorelai's orders. Naturally I could never say no to her, so I found myself agreeing. Shortly after 9am, I was in the car and headed in the direction of Stars Hollow, my cd for that night hidden well within my trunk. It was nearly ten when I reached the Gilmore home, and I was surprised to see nearly ten people already wandering around the premises. Rory saw me first and jogged over to the car.  
  
"I thought we made it clear that 9:30 was the time to get here?" Were the first words out of her mouth.  
  
"Traffic was a bitch," I muttered, getting out. Rory flashed me a forgiving smile and pulled me in the direction of the group already there. I suddenly found myself wondering how I had gotten to this point. Since when had she became so... open around me?   
  
"Evil turned Nice one," Lorelai greeted, a construction hat ontop of her dark hair and a pencil stuck behind one ear.   
  
"Morning, Lorelai," I said, taking a look around. There were already three other men, one I recognized as being Luke, constructing what looked to be a makeshift stage. "Where do you want me?"  
  
"You and Rory are in charge of the decorations." She said without looking up.   
  
"I guess you're stuck with me, huh," I smirked, turning to look at Rory.  
  
Her face went serious and she pushed me into the house. "Listen, Tris, we're going to have to go to the store and Dean's working today. Can you please, please, please be human and not do anything to upset him more? He's already going to throw a fit because you're here." She pleaded, her eyes begging me.  
  
Even though my heart clenched at the mention of Dean, making it obvious they were still together, I nodded slightly. "I'll wait outside, if thats better for you," I offered.  
  
Rory let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thank you," she breathed, surprising the hell out of both of us by giving me an impromptu hug. "Thank you."  
  
"Welcome," I murmured, following her out of the house.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Sometimes I wonder if its even worth trying to be a part of her life. Today was one of them days, while she went inside to get the party decorations, I stood outside, watching her shuffle through the store, laughing and yes, kissing Dean. What does she see in him? If you ask me, he's about as exciting as watching a glass of water evaporate, but I can't really say that. I mean, I don't know the guy and if Rory likes him, there must be _something_ good about him, right? I just can't help feeling as though he doesn't deserve her. Not that I do, in any way, shape or form, but I know that I could make her happier, without a doubt. If she would only give me a chance. Slow and steady wins the race, I know, but I've been waiting for what seems like forever.   
  
"Hey, you ready," Rory shook my arm, snapping me out of my reverie.   
  
Glancing over at her, I took a few of the bags from her, despite the adamant refusal. "Everything okay with," I swallowed. "Dean?"  
  
Rory gave me a surprised look, but nodded. "He was kind of ticked about you being here, but I think it'll be okay. You'll act civil tonight?"  
  
"Mary, Mary, don't you know Im always civil?" I laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulders, noting that she didn't pull away.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
"Okay, up first we have.... Lane!" Lorelai exclaimed into the microphone, her voice vibrating through the yard. The crowd applauded as the Korean girl I had been introduced to earlier took the stage. She smiled shyly to the audience when the music began filtering through. I had to admit, the sound system was incredible. She started out softly, but as time wore on, her confidence grew. When the song was through, she jumped off the stage with thunderous response. She was then promptly carted off by her mother, who was shouting things in what I presumed was Korean.   
  
The next few performers were nobody that I had met thus far, so I just tuned out, wandering around the yard Rory and I had decorated earlier that day. I stopped short when I heard a familiar voice.   
  
"No way, Mom, never."  
  
"Rorrrrry, come on, it'll be fun," Lorelai whined, stomping her foot.  
  
"Mom, Im not doing that song. I already have my two and thats it."  
  
Lorelai grinned evilly. "Either me or Tristan," she egged her on.  
  
"Mom!" Rory exclaimed, glancing around. Luckily I had enough sense to duck out of viewing range as soon as my name was mentioned, although I was dying to know what she was talking about. "Im not doing that with you OR him. Nope. Never. Not in this lifetime."  
  
"I'd be a fooool forr yoooooou," Lorelai warbled off, eyeing her offspring daringly.  
  
Rory frowned and sighed in resignation. "Okay, fine. We'll do it. Anythings better then that song."  
  
"Muahaha," the elder Gilmore cackled, before dragging Rory towards the stage. Knowing Rory as I did, I got the feeling I didn't want to miss a second of this, and so forced my way to the front of the crowd.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"Is everyone having a good time?" Lorelai hollered. Everyone responded with a bellowed "yes". "Good. Now me and my pal Rory are going to do a duet, so sit back and get ready to ROCK!"  
  
I bit my lip as the makeshift spotlight dimmed and the faint rustling of the cd being changed could be heard. Suddenly the sound of waves came through the speakers. The lights came on, and much to the amusement of everyone there, the Gilmore girls appeared donning black leather with headset microphones attached to their heads. Rory opened her mouth and let the words flow out.  
  
  
_Sunny days __  
__Birds singin' sweet soundin' songs of love __  
__(That's so pretty girl) __  
__As we walk hand in hand __  
__Just kickin' up sand __  
__As the ocean lands at our feet (ooh) __  
__I'm in your arms __  
__And all of your charms are for me __  
__(Not for me) __  
__Check it _  
  
  
Lorelai took over from there, leaving the rest of us gaping in surprise.  
  
  
  
_I need a crunk tight nigga __  
__Makes seven figgas _........  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
"What am I going to do with a bitch like you, hmm Mar?" I teased, coming up behind Rory. She turned, her face flushed a bright red color.  
  
"Say one word to anyone at school and you're so dead," she threatened.   
  
Chuckling, I shook my head. "Your secrets safe with me. But wow, what a secret. I had no idea there was that side of you. Maybe I should come by more often."  
  
Rory suddenly grinned. "You know what, you should. I never thought I'd say this, but its kind of nice having you around. In a weird, twisted sort of way."  
  
"Gee, thanks," I smirked. 

"Hey, you're up next," Lorelai suddenly appeared, thrusting a microphone at me. I felt my heart rate speed up considerably, but tried not to let it show. Luckily, it was some-what dark where we were standing. 

"Are you sure I have to do this?" I asked Rory after her mother had disappeared.

Rory laughed and nodded enthusiastically. "Yep. I better not have spent money on all those earplugs for nothing."

"Mean," I called, heading towards the stage once my name was called.

"Break a leg. Literally," Rory shouted behind me

******

Im not usually a nervous person. People don't make me feel uneasy and I can usually get a long with almost everyone. But as I stood offstage, looking out at all the people crowded around, watching the person currently singing their version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow", I was just a bundle of nerves. It wasn't the whole prospect of getting up in front of all these people and singing, I've sung in public before, but it was more that Rory was going to be watching that scared me. Why had I picked this song? _Idiot_ my mind screamed over and over. But I didn't have a choice at this point. Lorelai was pulling me on-stage and then the music started. Taking a deep breath, I let my voice fly over the lyrics and notes...

_ I'm lying here beside you  
in someone else's bed   
Knowing what were doing's wrong  
But better left unsaid   
Your breathing sounds like screaming   
It's all that I can stand   
His ring is on your finger   
But my heart is in your hands   
Damned if you love me   
Damned if you don't  
It's getting harder holding on  
but I can't let you go   
Damned if you don't need me  
Damned if you do   
God, I wish it wasn't me standing' in these shoes   
Damned, damned   
  
A door slams like a shotgun,  
you jump up to your feet   
But it's just the wind blowing through the secrets that we keep   
Made me want to want you,  
God knows I need to need you   
By the time the love is over,  
I'll be sleeping on the streets _

_Damned if you love me   
Damned if you don't   
It's getting harder holding on,   
but I can't let you go   
Damned if you don't need me   
Damned if you do   
God, I wish it wasn't me standing' in these shoes   
Damned, damned _

_Why don't you talk to me?   
(Because I'm too blind to see)   
Why don't you look at me?   
(Because I'm afraid to breath)   
What do you want from me?   
(All that I can stand)   
The lies are on my tongue and I can't turn back I know   
My soul is damned _

_Don't worry   
I ain't gonna call you or hear you say my name   
And if you see me on the street,  
don't wave, just walk away   
Our lives are getting twisted,   
let's keep our stories straight   
The more that I resist it,  
my temptation turns to fate _

_Damned if you love me   
Damned if you don't   
It's getting harder holding on,  
but I can't let you go   
Damned if you don't need me   
Damned if you do   
God, I wish it wasn't me standing' in these shoes  
_

When I reopened my eyes, it was to see all of Stars Hollow on their feet, the applause deafening. My eyes roamed the crowd, to where Rory was standing beside a dark haired kid, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. I didn't know if she understood, but I was too afraid to stick around and find out. Thanking the people, I jumped off the stage and hurried towards my car. I can tell you one thing, Monday definitely came too soon..

****** 

Did it suck? Come on, did it? Be honessssssst, I can take it, promise! Anyways, yep, thats chapter four. 

Song Acknowledgments  
Song #1 - "Im Good At Being Bad" - TLC (LaFace/Arista Records)  
Song #2 - "Damned" - Bon Jovi (Universal/Mercury Records)

More soon! 

- Shay   
  



	5. Everyday you find new ways to hurt me

  


  
  
**Disclaimer** : Oh, if only I were the head of the WB...

**Feedback** : Yep. Its nice. Thanks.

**Authors Note** : I _so_ apologize for not updating in soOo long. Theres a couple reasons behind this.

1. Life is insane. If it didn't hurt, I'd ram my head into a wall with all the stuff thats been going on lately.  
2. Ff.net hasn't exactly been my best friend lately. Some people here are evil (not any of you, naturally =D)  
3. Writers Block. Bleh  
4. The death of Lisa "Lefteye" Lopes, which if you've read my profile, you'd know hit me hard. Long story though.

But anyway, thats basically my reasoning behind not updating or writing. I don't know how often updates are going to come now that Im out of school, but I'll try to be a little more consistent with it. Also, to those who are wondering what happened to my other fic "Don't Say You Love Me", if you read the last authors note posted, you'd know that I was looking for a co-writer, which I did get a volunteer for. She's got control over the next chapter, so go bug her :) (hehe) Anyways, enough babbling. Story time!

  
  
  


**I Cry Real Tears  
Part Five**

  
  
  
  
  
If theres one thing I hate, its feeling out of control over my life, my actions and more-over, my feelings. After fleeing from Rory's house Saturday, once I had poured my heart out into my karaoke song, I drove. Just drove, until I ended up in New York. I do this often, actually, when I need to clear my head. Just hop in the car and head into my favorite city, drowning out the things on my mind. Only this time it didn't work. No matter where I went, what I did or who I was with, it was always her that was forever emblazoned in my head. So I jumped back into my ride and drove straight back to Hartford early Sunday morning.

Sunday was hell, but nothing could've prepared me for Monday at school. From an outsiders point of view, it probably wouldn't have seemed to bad. A few whispers here, a few glances there and a fight smack dab in the middle. But to me, it was torture, although my face betrayed what raged on the inside. After spending the past week with Rory as a part of my life, as my friend, the sudden void nearly broke my heart.

******

"Hey," I replied to a random brunette as I ambled down the hall shortly prior to first period. I turned the corner, only to stop dead in my tracks. Standing merely feet away from me was Rory, absentmindedly putting her books in her locker. I say absentmindedly because she kept putting the same book into her locker, taking it out and putting it back in. Gulping, I continued towards her. "Morning." 

"Tristan."

Genuinely hurt by her curtness, I shook my head and headed towards my own locker. "Bye," I said meekly as I passed her.

She looked up, I know she did, but didn't say anything else and when I turned around a few moments later, she was gone.

******

"You know, I didn't know you had it in you," Ryan laughed, slapping me on the back.

"What?"

"Standing up there, professing your love for Gilmore. In front of her boyfriend and mother, no less."

Turning, my eyes glared at him. "I did no such thing."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Give me a break, DuGrey. Everyone knows you're pining for her."

"I am not."

"If you say so," Ryan said, smirking a bit. The bell rang before I had the chance to reply..

Dammit, if Ryan knew now, the whole school would by the time the day ended. When would I learn?

******

It was during lunch, the next time I came into contact with Rory. I was standing outside the library, waiting for Mrs. Klieson to bring me the books I needed for my History project. She came flying around the corner and ran, quite literally, into me.

"Careful," I managed to spit out, steadying her on her feet. Instead of thanking me, her blue eyes dug into the core of my soul and she dragged me around the corner, away from the other students.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She hissed.

"Huh?" Was all I could say. What was wrong with _me_!

"Saturday. What got into you? Why are you trying to make my life miserable?" Rory demanded, her face ablaze with anger.

Feigning confusion, I cocked my head to one side. "I'm trying to make your life miserable? I didn't know I had that kind of power over you." God, Im such an asshole sometimes. Now was not the time to start acting like a jerk.

Rory opened and closed her mouth before speaking again. "How could you sing a song like that, in front of _my_ town? In front of people I have to deal with everyday? Now they all think theres something going on with us. You really have no idea what you did, do you?"

"You mean Dean thinks theres something going on with us, don't you?" I probed. "Because I sang a song - one that has nothing remotely to do with you or anyone else. It was just a song for God's sake. You said we had to sing, so I sang. Excuse me." I replied, cursing myself as each word tumbled out of my mouth. I was digging myself a deeper grave each time I spoke.

Snapping her mouth shut, she shook her head. "Theres no point in trying to talk to you, Tristan, is there? Everytime theres just the slightest ray of someone real beneath that cocky, stuck up exterior you wear so well, and I think, well hey, maybe there is a chance for us to be friends, your attitude and ego come rearing their ugly heads. I give up, I don't know why I bother." Rory said, stomping away when she finished. I just stared after her, suddenly numb

******  


Heading out into the parking lot after school, I stopped in mid-stride, nearly choking on the gum I was chewing. It was mind-boggling, really, almost de-ja-vu. There was Farmer Dean and his shabby pickup truck, standing in the lot, waiting for Princess Rory. Only this time there was no PJ Harvey tickets or stolen books involved, just the same anger and injured heart. I guess Im a glutton for pain, because I just stood there, watching as Rory ran out to meet him, kissing him soundly on the lips, like she had before, like she did every night in my nightmares. No words were exchanged between them this time, no admittance of hatred towards me, no vows of love, but for some reason, seeing them this time hurt more. More then I care to admit.

******

Wooookaaaay.. Short, yes. More soon? Yes. Reviews? Yes. :) See ya'll.

-- Shay 


	6. Its about time we met

_Disclaimer :_ If I owned them, I'd be collecting money every which way and wouldn't be desperate for a decent job, now would I? So, needless to say, they aren't mine *sigh* They're the creations of Amy Whats-Her-Face and the WB. :)  
  
_Authors Note :_ Ahhh, finally an update! Thank the graces of being able to download GG episodes onto the computer and watch them continuously, til the wee hours of the night because your VCR is a piece of crap. Okay, maybe too much info there. Anyways, I finally came outta my writers-block-funk and am able to write once again. Please, don't throw things, it hurts. Okay, enough rambling.. I made you wait a month and a half, I shall not take up anymore of your time with nonsense.   
  
_P/S -_ I lurve feedback :) The good, the bad, the mean, evil flame throwers. Its all welcome.  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"****  
****Part 6**  


  
  
  
  
  
  
I must've stood there, staring, for a good half hour. Of course Rory and Dean were long gone, but the image of them embracing, kissing in front of me, was forever imprinted in my mind. Friends of mine, teachers, all gone past, calling out their hellos and goodbyes, telling me to call them or that they'd call me.. girls coyly wrapping themselves around me, only to be disappointed when I didn't respond. Its the only way I know how to get them away from me without being a complete asshole. Maybe I should've been, but then I just thought, that would probably just strengthen Rory's argument about my personality. I know I have a tendency to turn into the worlds biggest jerk when Im around her, and I can't tell you why. I don't know why. Its just something she does to me, something nobody has ever pulled out of me before. I mean, sure, I've been less then nice to a lot of people in my time, but for some reason, she pulls it out of me, rather then me doing it on my own. Its frustrating, really. Im not a bad guy, at least I don't think, but for some reason I just can't let her come to see that side, and I know that thats all it would take for her to come around, even just a little. A large, cold splotch of water is what finally snapped me out of my dream-world and I took notice that it was raining. How perfect. Sighing, I finally made my way through the now deserted parking lot and settled into the warm, dryness of my car.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Tristan, get down here," my fathers authoritative voice boomed through the intercom that was installed in every room in our humble abode.   
  
I ignored him. I didn't feel like being paraded off in front of some fancyschmancy executive friend of his, who probably wanted me to date their daughter to further advance their careers. I saw that one too often. So often, it had come to be rather amusing. But thats the way this world worked. Take no prisoners, step on whoever you need to, to push yourself further up the ladder. It was sad, really, that these people had no conscious when it came to using people for monetary gain. Rory would never do that.  
  
And there I go again. Should've seen that one coming. I can't go a full five minutes without something reminding me of her in even the weirdest of ways. It doesn't make any sense, this crush. Thats all it is, right, a simple crush? It couldn't be anything more. I was a DuGrey, afterall, DuGrey's don't go and fall... dare I say, in love? So yes, it was a crush that I was determined to get over. Especially after that episode in the parking lot earlier. She had Dean, she didn't need me.  
  
Oh man, who am I kidding. I had it bad. Real bad. If this were one of those really cliché TV moments, music would cue right about now and that little fantasy cloud would pop above my head, showing me and Rory running through flower filled fields, holding hands and kissing before admitting our feelings for one another.   
  
"Tristan, now," the intercom barked at me again.  
  
Sighing, I got up and wandered over to where it was on the wall, pausing in thought. I was about to answer him, but then decided against it. Smirking slightly, as if I had just won a battle, though I knew it would only cause more trouble, I flicked the off switch, locked the bedroom door and headed out onto the balcony attached to my room. It was peaceful out here. You could almost imagine that you had somehow escaped the arrogant lifestyles of those in Hartford's high society. I say almost, because down below was the hustle and bustle that was my mothers Gardens of America meeting, a fluttering of overage, overweight women, talking loudly about this years planting. And off in the not so far distance, were the sounds of machinery digging a hole in the ground for our new pool. And just beyond the trees that made up our backyard, you could see the buildings of downtown Hartford. But don't get me wrong, it was peaceful. I was hidden and away from the people I longed to escape.  
  
I sat there for at least fifteen minutes before a sudden pounding sounded through the open doors and I was snatched out of my daydreaming as my father yelled from the outside of my bedroom door.  
  
"Open this door, now, Tristan! Don't ignore me, Im your father, you are to respect me!"  
  
Ha. Respect. I had to laugh at that one. Shaking my head, I reluctantly got up and opened the door, and as expected, he stood there, arms crossed and face reddened with anger. "What?" I asked, an indifferent expression on my face.  
  
My dad, Alex, glared at me. "I want you downstairs now." Was his only reply.  
  
Crossing my arms in defiance, I glared back. "Why?" I challenged.  
  
"Because I said so. Now, Tristan."  
  
I had expected that answer. It was always the same. Like his word was supposed to be that of God or something. I didn't bother to dignify that with a retort, just stormed past him and down the stairs. His footsteps echoed behind me and as he caught up to me, in the main hall, I followed him into the lounge area, where he conducted most of his business affairs. Inside, there was a man, of maybe 33, 34.. brownish hair and an easygoing smile. For the first time, I was impressed with someone he had brought home. This guy actually looked like he could be fun. Oh yeah, I guess I should also mention Eric was there. Naturally. What a suck up.  
  
"Tristan, I'd like you to meet one of our new employees, Christopher Hayden."  
  
  
*****  
  
  
Yes, yes, I know, confusing, crappy place to leave off, but it'll all be understood in the next chapter. Please, don't hate me if this totally sucked, its 3 o'clock in the morning, Im doped up on migraine medicine and haven't slept in nearly 20 hours. I swear on all things yummy and completely unhealthy I'll have another update really soon. Promise!  
  
-- Shay 


	7. And when you're lying all alone, do you ...

**Disclaimer:** If I ruled the world.. c'mon, ya'll, sing along. No? Pfft. Anyways, I don't own anything but the things my warped mind creates.  
**Author:** Me, duh! :) Umm.. Shay, yep.  
**Email:** tlcforever@hotmail.com   
**Rating:** PG-13. Could be upped to a R eventually, I guess.  
**Spoilers:** Season One is fair game. Anything after will probably be ignored.  
**Pairing:** R/T, someday, somehow. L/L/C.. if I expand to include.. Pairing there is still up in the air.  
**Feedback:** Is my reason for being. Or not. But still, its only a fair trade. I write for my readers, my readers review for me. See, it makes everyone happaaay.  
  
**Authors Note:** Eeh.. If you read the authors note previously posted here, you may have noticed I was planning on rewriting past chapters. BUT, since Im lazy and have zero motivation to do so, I decided to leave it as is and all I can promise is to do my best to make all future chapters up to par. If you think a chapter sucks, by all means, let me know so I can attempt to fix it. Anyways, let me shut up so you can read.  
  
This chapters title comes from the song "Do You Think of Me" by Mariah Carey.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


** "I Cry Real Tears"**  
** Part Seven**  
  
  
_And When You're Lyin' All Alone (Do You Think of Me)_  


  
  
  
  
The guy was nice, I'll admit. I was surprised. Most of the people my father brings home from the office are real jerks, emotionless, expressionless, you get the picture. But this guy, he gave me a smile, a real genuine smile and shook my hand and asked questions with real interest. I was a bit taken aback, I mean, this doesn't happen to me very often. But it was cool. My father left us alone for a few minutes when he received a call from one client or another. We sat in silence momentarily, regarding each other with respect. Finally he let out a chuckle and shook his head, with a smile on his face.  
  
"So, Tristan.. I hear you attend Chilton."  
  
Oh no, here we go. The last thing I wanted to talk about was school. Especially after what had happened over the past few days. Surpressing the urge to roll my eyes and stomp from the room like an impatient five year old, I nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"And you're a junior?" He asked, leaning back in the lush black leather sofa he was sitting on.  
  
"Yep," I said, letting my disinterest in the subject show on my face.  
  
Mr. Hayden laughed. "Try not to get to excited. Actually, I was just curious. My daughter is a junior there also. Maybe you two know each other?"  
  
I was silent for a second, wracking my brain. I didn't know any Hayden's at Chilton, did I? The name didn't sound familiar to me. Wrinkling my nose, I shook my head. "I don't think so. What's her name?"  
  
Stupid question. I tell ya, somebody or something up there hates me, with the evil blows fate throws at me. Who would've thought, you know? Actually, scratch that, I _should_ have known. With all the out-of-the-norm things that have happened to me the past week, concerning her, it just makes sense.   
  
"Rory Gilmore."  
  
Way to catch me off guard. This man was her father? I didn't even realize she had a father. I mean, I knew she had one, everybody does, but I didn't think that he was involved in her life or anything. I mean, it was always her mother. Pretty much everything that she said about her life concerned her mother and I've never heard anybody mention anything about her father. I sat there with my mouth open, not even noticing that until he cut in on my thoughts.  
  
"So you know her then?" He asked with a slightly laugh.  
  
Shaking my head to clear it, I gave a small nod of the head. "Yeah, we know each other. Kind of." Hey, it was true. We had been on the road to redemption, giving the friends thing a whirl, but I guess I screwed that one up again. I swear, I think I have severe mental disabilities.  
  
Mr. Hayden smiled at that. "Great! I was hoping you knew each other. So you two will have someone to talk to Friday night."  
  
"Yeah..." I agreed, not really hearing him. Wait - Friday night? What was going on Friday? "Friday?" I asked, confused.  
  
"We'll be joining the Gilmore's for dinner Friday," my father informed me, coming back into the room at that precise moment. God, he had impeccable timing. I half wondered if he had been hiding outside the door, waiting for just the right moment to come in and pounce on me. Then my sensible side took over and reminded me he would never do anything to get his suit dirty.   
  
Friday with the Gilmore's, with Rory. And destiny moves ahead, once again.  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
The next morning at school, I purposely avoided her. I doubt you even have to ask who 'her' is, but I'll enlighten you anyway. I wasn't ready to face Rory. Not yet. I'd have to, come Friday, since my father had all but ordered me to attend dinner with them, but that was still two days away. The avoidance was going good, the only time I had seen her so far was in class, and even then I sat as far away from her as possible. There were a few times where I felt her eyes on me but I ignored it and seconds later I'd feel daggers digging into me, coming from her direction. It was getting to her, I could tell. And for some inane reason, that brought me unparalleled joy. That's pretty much how it went the entire day. Well, until she scared the crap out of me by popping out of a room without so much as a sound and grabbing my arm.   
  
"What is wrong with you?" She demanded, her blue eyes flashing in anger and hurt.   
  
I stared at her for a second, willing my heart to stop its erratic beating and then gave her a impatient look. "What are you talking about?"  
  
The coolness in my voice obviously irritated her because her face suddenly was set in a deep scowl. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."  
  
Crossing my arms, I returned the scowl. "No, Rory, I don't know what you're talking about. I can't read your mind. So if you aren't going to give me something to go on here, I have somewhere to be," I said, and went to head down the hall when I felt her hand on my arm again.  
  
"Why are you ignoring me?"  
  
"Ignoring you? How am I ignoring you? Im standing here talking to you, aren't I? I don't think that constitutes as ignoring someone."  
  
Rory's face started to turn a light shade of red and I half expected steam to start escaping her ears. "You're only talking to me because I grabbed you! You've been ignoring me all day. You haven't said one word to me, or even so much as looked in my direction and I want to know why!"  
  
And ladies and gentleman, out comes Mr. Asshole DuGrey, once again. I glared at her, certain that my usual blue eyes had turned a steel gray. "Why should I talk to you or look at you? We're not friends. You said as much yourself."  
  
"I didn't -" She stared but stopped and bit her lip instead. We stood there, watching each other for a minute before she spoke again. "I didn't mean that."  
  
"Could've fooled me," I retorted. "Last I heard I was a cocky, egotistical jerk whom you didn't want to have the displeasure of my company. I'd say that pretty much puts an end to whatever kind of friendship we might have had."  
  
Rory didn't respond, just shook her head and gave me a sad look, turned and walked out of the school. I stared after her, silently berating myself for being such an idiot. I really wish I knew what it was about her that made me act that way. Maybe its a chemical imbalance or something. Do they make medication for that?  
  
Oh, who am I kidding. Nothing short of a miracle could help me.  
  
  
*******  
  
  
Sorry this is so short and it took me so long to do. I've written like five different chapters for Ch7 of this story and this is the first one I've semi-liked. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to update again soon. Please be kind, review. :)  
  
- Shay  
  
  



	8. I think you should know that, I've been ...

**Disclaimer: **If I ruled the world.. c'mon, ya'll, sing along. No? Pfft. Anyways, I don't own anything but the things my warped mind creates.  
**Author:** Me, duh! :) Umm.. Shay, yep.  
**Email:** tlcforever@hotmail.com   
**Rating:** PG-13. Could be upped to a R eventually, I guess.  
**Spoilers:** Season One is fair game. Anything after will probably be ignored.  
**Pairing:** R/T, someday, somehow. L/L/C.. if I expand to include.. Pairing there is still up in the air.  
**Feedback**: Is my reason for being. Or not. But still, its only a fair trade. I write for my readers, my readers review for me. See, it makes everyone happaaay.  
  
**Authors Note :** Bleh, sorry for taking so long with this. I just couldn't find the inspiration until the lovely Tristan staring at Rory's ear scene on GGBeginnings was shown last night. *sigh* Oh how I miss those days. Anyways, *crosses fingers* lets hope this turns out the way I want..  
  
A HUGE huge thank you to Linda, for being my partner in crime and betaing this for me.  
  
This chapters title comes from the song "Damaged" by TLC off their album 3D. And while I'm here, let me plug the GG fanfic awards -**http://www.after-tonight.net/fanfic** :) GO! Please?  
  
(sorry for the huge arse block of crap up there. :)  
  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"  
Part Eight**  
  
  
  
  
_I think you should know that, I've been damaged_  
  


  
  
  
  
  
The next two days were easy, in the sense of avoiding Rory at school. After our last confrontation, she pretty much went out of her way to keep out of mine, so I didn't have to try too hard. Every time we caught sight of each other, she would turn on her heels and head in the opposite direction. In class, we sat as far away from each other as possible. Originally, our History teacher had assigned us to be in the same group, but after some minor complaining on her part, we were separated into different ones. I didn't really know what to make of all of this. It hurt like hell to be around her, knowing she hated me so much, but it also drove me crazy to not be around her. I was not looking forward to Friday, I can tell you that much.  
  
  
******  
  
  
_Friday morning, Chilton_  
  
  
  
I was tossing my Literature book into my locker in between second and third hour when Ryan approached me, his mouth turned up into a self-satisfied smirk. One I immediately disliked, and caused an intense feeling of apprehension to come over me.  
  
"DuGrey, buddy, what's up," Ryan greeted, slapping me on the back, his eyes taunting me.  
  
"What?" I asked rudely. I wasn't in the mood for this today. Mainly because within the next 8 hours, I would be in close proximity with Rory, forced together by our families, despite the tension between us.  
  
Ryan's grin intensified at my tone. "Somebody's moody today. I just wanted to let you know that I'll see you tonight."  
  
Tonight? Turning, I looked at him, confusion written as plain as day on my face. "What are you talking about, Sieks?"  
  
"Dinner with the grandparents," Ryan announced, the look of amusement planted on his features. "Apparently there's a joint venture between our fathers' companies and Mr. Gilmore's. My father informed me about tonight and I casually mentioned that I knew Rory. Next thing I knew, I'm being ordered to make an appearance."  
  
Great. Just great. Not only did I have to contend with Rory, I also had to deal with Ryan and his parents. And before I go any further, let me tell you that his mother makes mine look like Mrs. Brady. "Well I guess I'll see you later   
then," I said as civilly as possible. Thankfully the bell rang then and I grabbed my book, tossing a good-bye over my shoulder as I headed to my Calculus class. What a night I was in for.  
  
  
*******  
  
  
"Bad day?" Eric asked with a grin as I slammed my books down on the kitchen counter. I turned to glare at my brother before grabbing a coke out of the fridge without answering him. That done, I picked my school stuff back up   
and headed up to my room, ignoring the fact that he was right behind me. He followed me into my room, the grin still present on his face as he crossed his arms and gave me a pointed look.  
  
I glanced over at him wearily before flopping down on my bed. "What do you want, Eric?"  
  
Eric smirked, one eerily close to being identical to my own. "Father wants you downstairs, ready to leave in an hour."  
  
"So," I shot back, slipping the shoes off my feet and laying back onto the fluffy pillows.  
  
"So, there's somebody he wants you to meet," Eric finally responded. The only word to describe the tone of his voice was gloating. I immediately knew what that meant, of course. One of my fathers business associates wanted his   
daughter and I to "get to know" each other and what better way to do that, then over dinner. Is it just me, or does it seem like suddenly the entire population of Hartford would be joining us at the Gilmore's tonight?  
  
"No thanks," I muttered, rolling over and closing my eyes.  
  
There was silence for a second and I half wondered if he had actually left, but as soon as that thought floated through my head, it was tossed out the window as he sat down on the bed next to me. "Maybe you should consider it, Tristan," he said.   
  
My eyes opened at this, his voice was actually somewhat compassionate. What the hell. Flipping over, I stared at him for a moment. "What's up with you?"  
  
I couldn't help it. My brother and I have never gotten along. Not even when we were younger. He always went out of his way, whenever my parents weren't there to do it themselves, to make sure I remembered that I was inferior to   
him, that I was the unwanted, unexpected second child. That I could never compete with him, that I would never be more then a nuisance in my parents' eyes. The only time that we even turned to each other was a year earlier,   
when our grandmother had passed away. And even then, as soon as the funeral and the appropriate grieving period was over, we were right back to where we had always been.  
  
Unexpectedly, at my words, my brother blushed. Yes, he blushed. The one person who always had the utmost self- confidence, even more then I, blushed. I couldn't believe it. For a second there, I almost thought I was losing it.   
Clearing his throat, he smiled weakly. "Nothing, I just thought it would be a good idea, to get on Father's good side."  
  
Yeah, right. My father didn't have a good side, especially when it came to me. I could never do anything right, whereas Eric could no do no wrong. I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, right."  
  
Suddenly Eric's demeanor changed, his blue eyes, matching mine perfectly, pleading. "Alright, I'll be honest. The girl Father wants you to bring tonight, her name is Dayna Mathis. And see, Dayna has this older sister,   
Carla..." His voice trailed off and I finally realized where he was going with this.  
  
"…And one isn't allowed to go unless the other goes, too, right?"  
  
"Tristan, I swear, if you do this, just this once, I'll do anything to pay you back."  
  
Choking back the laughter that was threatening to spill from my chest, I stared at him for a minute, contemplating the situation. Did I really want to do anything for him? And did I really want to show up at Rory's   
grandparents' house with another girl? Not that it mattered. On one hand I didn't like the idea of doing any type of favor for my brother, but on the other hand, since Rory and I weren't exactly on speaking terms, it might be nice to have somebody else there to talk to. "Fine," I found myself saying.  
  
Eric's face broke into a rare smile and he quickly got up from the bed. "Thanks, Tristan. I owe you big."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," I brushed that off. Once he'd left, I sighed and went to get ready.  
  
  
******  
  
  
"Ah, there he is," my father announced with false sincerity as I came down the stairs forty-five minutes later. All eyes turned to me and I forced a smile.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tristan," an older man with a graying mustache greeted, shaking my hand firmly. "I'm Ben Mathis."  
  
"Nice to meet you, too," I responded dutifully. I've been through enough of these formalities to know the drill. Didn't make them any more appealing, however.  
  
I was then introduced to Margaret Mathis, Ben's wife and the elder daughter, Carla. Glancing around, I wondered where my date for the night was hiding. Mr. Mathis noticed this and he chuckled, one of those airy, stuck up rich   
folks laughs.  
  
"Looking for Dayna, I suppose. Your mother was just showing her the garden, I'm sure they'll return soon."  
  
As if on cue, my mother, in all her self-absorbed glory, appeared in the doorway, wearing an awful gaudy blue dress, with a diamond necklace so large it nearly blinded me. She entered the room with a tall, intense looking girl following behind her. I took in the girl's presence. Not what I was expecting, that's for sure. She was at least 5'7, but nicely proportioned, (I'm a guy, what I can I say), with shoulder length dirty-blonde hair. As they came closer, I took notice of the dark green color of her eyes and smirked at the way she blatantly perused me. Her eyes traveled up the length of my body before her eyes collided with mine and she smirked back at me.  
  
"Tristan, allow me to introduce you to my daughter. Dayna, Tristan. Tristan, Dayna." Mr. Mathis said with pride, his arm around Dayna's shoulders.  
  
"It's an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. DuGrey," Dayna purred as our hands came into contact.  
  
I knew right away the game she was playing. It was the one all the girls who had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting my parents played. But she played it very well. Better then most, I noticed. "The pleasure is all mine, Miss Mathis," I returned, bringing her hand up to my mouth and placing a tiny kiss on the skin. She giggled coyly and I glanced over at our parents, both of whom were watching proudly. I smothered a laugh and turned my attention back to Dayna. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.  
  
******  
_end part eight_  
  
  
Next up - The dinner! Heh. Surprises, surprises.   
Review and you shall receive :)  
  
--Shay  



	9. Forbidden Love

_  
Disclaimer :_ Not mine, not mine, not mine.  
_Feedback _: Is among the most cherished.  
_Thanks _: To everyone who has reviewed and Linda for her beta-ingness.  
_Authors Note :_ Sorry again, for taking so long. The inspiration is there, just not the drive to do anything with it. I'll keep the babbling minimal and let you get to reading. Don't forget to review!  
  
Song/Chapter Title Credit : Forbidden Love by Madonna  
  
  
  
  


**"I Cry Real Tears"  
Part Nine**  
  
  
_In your eyes / forbidden love / in your smile / forbidden love / in your kiss / forbidden love_  


  
  
  
  
  
  
Dusk had fallen upon Hartford by the time we had reached the Gilmore Estate, and I was suddenly weary of accompanying someone here, when all I wanted to do was be with Rory. However, it was too late to go back now, so I gallantly slid my arm around Dayna's waist and stood back a bit while my father rang the doorbell. There was a loud female voice, some bickering, and finally the door opened to Mrs. Gilmore, who smiled brightly at us, though it seemed to falter slightly as it reached me.   
  
"Alex, Morgan!" She greeted warmly, kissing both of my parents' cheeks. My father returned the sentiment and my mother followed suit. I plastered a smile on my face as my father turned towards us.  
  
"Emily, these are my sons, Eric and Tristan. And these lovely ladies are Ben Mathis' daughters, Carla and Dayna."  
  
"Hello," she said to the four of us, as our group entered the large home. Unlike the inside of our home, theirs was warm and homey, while still holding its rich atmosphere.  
  
After the door had closed behind us, a maid appeared, took our coats, and led us into the sitting room. In there was an older man, whom I remembered as Rory's grandfather, from our brief encounter at her birthday party, and Mr. Hayden, who I had met a few days earlier, sitting, talking quietly.  
  
"Richard, look who's here," Emily said as we entered the room. Richard Gilmore, a tall, intimidating, but not unpleasant man, rose to greet us, shaking each of our hands firmly before introducing Mr. Hayden, who immediately requested we call him Christopher. We all took our seats, as drinks were passed around and I fidgeted a bit with my tie. I always hated these types of things, and the fact that this was Rory's family made it so much more uncomfortable.  
  
Speaking of Rory, where was she? Neither her nor Lorelai had been seen since we'd arrived. My heart stopped at the thought that they might not be coming, until my father, who somehow seemed to be reading my mind, spoke up.  
  
"Why, Richard, where is Lorelai this evening? I thought she'd be joining us."  
  
Richard took a sip of his martini and then smiled tightly at him. "Oh, she and my granddaughter will be joining us shortly."  
  
"Lorelai seemed to have had a slight problem with her dress and requested Rory's assistance," Emily said, her voice slightly agitated. "They went upstairs, I'm sure they'll be back soon."  
  
As if on cue, the two appeared, and my pulse began racing through my veins. Rory caught my eye and started to smile, but it faded when her eyes landed on Dayna, who was sitting much too close to me. Lorelai shot me a bright smile and said a polite, but obviously bored hello to my parents and brother. She settled down next to Christopher and they shared a smile. Through some twist of fate, the only open space left to sit was right next to me and Rory rolled her eyes before sitting down. Dayna shot her a suspicious look and moved closer to me. I shifted slightly and turned towards Rory.   
  
"Fancy meeting you here, Mary."  
  
"Please don't make this evening even more unbearable then it already is, Tristan," she shot back, turning her gaze away, towards her parents.  
  
I was about to say something else, but the doorbell rang and I inwardly groaned. No doubt that would be Ryan and his parents. True enough, a few minutes later, Emily reappeared with the Sieks beside her, Ryan standing just off to the side, a smirk on his face. He waved a hello to Rory, who waved back, a smile spreading across her face. I sighed at that. She never smiled like that at me, never that genuine.   
  
Seeing as how crowded the room now was, Emily suggested the "kids" go on out to the back patio until dinner was ready. We all agreed, none of us wanting to have to listen to our parents drone on about business ventures and the likes. So standing, we all followed Rory out the back door. Outside were a vast arrangement of flowerbeds, some blooming, and some not.   
  
"Nice place," Ryan commented as he and Rory stepped further out into the yard. Rory smiled again, and the two of them settled onto one of the iron benches, talking quietly between them. Every few seconds, Rory's melodic laugh would float through the air, shooting a pang of pain through my heart. Tearing my gaze away from them, they came to rest on Dayna, who was watching them as well, her face showing clear interest. I followed her gaze and smirked when I realized it held steady on Ryan.   
  
My thoughts were interrupted when the back door flew open, revealing Lorelai. "Dinner's ready," she announced, her voice full of fake chipperness.   
  
Rory grinned at her mother, and the two hooked arms and headed back into the house. Taking Dayna's hand, I pulled her in with me, though her eyes were still on Ryan, who followed behind. They led us into an elaborate dining room and Mrs. Gilmore pointed out our seats. I sat down in mine, a smile gracing my features as Rory sat down across from me. She frowned at my expression, which then turned into a full-fledged smirk. We held the stare for a few moments, before she shook her head, in attempt to hide the smile that had also spread across her face.  
  
Talk ceased around the table when the maid brought out our plates, placing the French cuisine in front of us. The silence ensued, though it didn't bother me much, as Rory kept glancing over at me, checking me out. I didn't let on that I knew, but inside hope began flourishing again. All through dinner, while Dayna blatantly perused Ryan, Rory and I snuck glances at each other, until right before desert, when our eyes met and she blushed, reverting her gaze back down to the table. Lorelai, who was sitting next to her daughter, saw this and shot me an amused look. I grinned back at her and then the maid returned with desert. With one more glance at Rory, whose head was still bent, I smirked. Deny as she might, she was interested. And I intended to take full advantage of that.  
  
  
******  
  
  
After desert, we all retreated back into the sitting room, where the men discussed business, though Christopher looked rather bored with the whole discussion, and the women giggled over the latest Hartford scandal, to which Lorelai sent "Help me, Save Me" looks towards Rory and I every few seconds. During this time, Eric and his date excused themselves, citing that they were going to get some fresh air, Dayna had finally retracted her claws from me and went to flirt with Ryan, who seemed to be enjoying it, leaving, you guessed it, Rory and I, to our own devices.  
  
"You uh, you wanna see the library?" Rory's soft voice asked suddenly, her blue eyes staring at me expectantly.  
  
Biting my tongue to keep the words laced with sexual innuendoes from spilling out, I nodded. "Sure."  
  
She offered a small smile, though, I noted, was genuine and motioned for me to follow her. She led me through a maze of halls until we finally arrived at the said room, which, like our own at home, was overflowing with books, mostly classics. But unlike ours, the books were obviously read, not just set up for decoration.   
  
"Come on," she urged and my eyebrows shot up in surprise when she grabbed my hand, pulling me further into the room. I won't deny that I felt suspiciously incomplete when she dropped the contact, but let a smile spread across my face as she walked slowly around the room, her fingers tracing the names of the different volumes. She seemed to be transported into a different realm, something I so desperately wanted to be a part of. My thoughts dissipated as she turned, a bright smile on her face. A thick book in her hand, she sat down and patted the cushion of the leather love seat next to her. I followed her request and dropped down beside her.  
  
"Tristan..."  
  
I glanced over at her when my name was uttered. "Yeah?"  
  
She swallowed hard before meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
Sorry? "For what?"  
  
She glanced down, her dark brown hair falling forward, hiding her face like a curtain. It took all the strength I had inside not to reach over and brush it out of her way, but the thought ceased when she spoke again. "For attacking you like that, after the karaoke party. I shouldn't have done that, but Dean was so mad when he saw you up there and he freaked out on me, so I freaked out and took it out on you. You were being so... nice to me, and I think I ruined any chance we had at being friends..." she finished softly.  
  
Biting my lip, I gently touched her hand. "It's okay, Rory." I paused, mulling over in my head what to say next. "And you didn't ruin our chance of being friends. We can try again, if you want."  
  
At my words, she pulled her hair back, gazing up at me. "Thank you."  
  
I gave a nod of the head. What I was thinking when I said we could be friends, I don't know. I wanted to be so much more then her friend… but these things took time, I guess. Never had for me before, mind you. All I had to do was smile and whatever girl that was in my sights would swoon and we'd be off. There was a first time for everything, I suppose.  
  
We sat in silence, that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, but somewhere in between. Eventually, the silence was broken when Christopher stuck his head in the door to inform us that my family was leaving. With a sigh, we both stood and followed him back out. Just before we reached the front foyer, Rory stopped me.  
  
"I do."  
  
The confusion I felt must've been written on my face because she grinned.  
  
"I do want to try and be friends again, I mean."  
  
Despite the pang that zipped through my heart at the word friend, I managed to smile. "Alright... friend."  
  
Her smile intensified and she impulsively gave me a quick hug, whispering a 'call me' in my ear before my father called my name and tore me away. I left the house, with Dayna asking constant questions about Ryan, in a daze, her sweet scent of vanilla lingering where we had touched.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
I fully intended on calling Rory over the weekend, but my father had a different idea. He dragged me off to the exotic locale of New York City, where Eric and I were to escort potential business associates' daughters. Nothing unusual, but after dinner Friday night, my heart wasn't in it. We arrived home early Monday morning, leaving barely enough time to shower and get to Chilton. When I arrived, the first bell had already rung, so I picked up my pass from the office and headed to class, disappointment that I had missed our morning banter running through my veins.  
  
The day went by slowly until lunch hour finally arrived. Instead of heading directly to the cafeteria, as I would normally do, I took a slight detour to Kennedy Hall, where both mine and Rory's lockers were situated. I smiled as I rounded the corner, as Rory stood there, unloading books from her bag into the locker. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I ambled towards her.  
  
"Hello, Friend."  
  
She jumped back slightly but rolled her eyes when she saw me. "Tristan."  
  
"Miss me?"  
  
"Always," she deadpanned, closing the metal door with a bang.   
  
I smirked, causing her to groan. "What, no hug today?"  
  
"I'd be too afraid of catching something."  
  
"You weren't Friday night," I said, leaning against the row of lockers.  
  
She gave me an exasperated look and hitched her bag onto her back. "Temporary case of insanity."  
  
"I make you go insane?"  
  
"No, you just drive me crazy."  
  
"But you love it," I pointed out.  
  
She paused for a moment, eyeing me critically before breaking out into a wide grin. "Shut up."  
  
"No can do."  
  
She shook her head and started down the hall. I pushed myself off the lockers and fell in step beside her. She gave me a sideways glance. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"  
  
"Yep. Lunch. C'mon," I said, taking her by the elbow and leading her in the direction of the lunchroom. She sighed, but didn't say anything and I grinned to myself. Things were looking up.  
  
  
*****   
  
  
  
And that concludes today's episode. Stay tuned, theres some good Trory-ness headed this way. But you'll have to read and review to receive :) Hehe  
  
-- Shay  



	10. But I promised myself I wouldn't give in...

**Disclaimer:** If I ruled the world.. c'mon, ya'll, sing along. No? Pfft. Anyways, I don't own anything but the things my warped mind creates.  
**Author:** Me, duh! :) Umm.. Shay, yep.  
**Email:** tlcforever@hotmail.com   
**Rating**: PG-13. Could be upped to R eventually, I guess.  
**Spoilers**: Season One is fair game. Anything after will probably be ignored.  
**Pairing:** R/T, someday, somehow. L/L/C.. if I expand to include.. Pairing there is still up in the air.  
**Feedback:** Is my reason for being. Or not. But still, its only a fair trade. I write for my readers, my readers review for me. See, it makes everyone happaaay.  
  
**Authors Note :** Wow.. I honestly never thought I'd get this chapter out. I wrote it, rewrote it, rewrote it again and then here's the fourth time of me writing it. I had so many ideas floating through my head and I couldn't decide which to use and which to save.. so I apologize if this sucks. At least that way it will fit in with the rest of the story. Beh. Anyways, there's some much needed Troryness in here.. the good kind. Sorta.  
  
  
  
  


**I Cry Real Tears  
Part Ten**  


  
  
  
  
  
The next few weeks flew by in a flurry, blurred images of events that took place racing through my head, almost as if they were part of a dream. But there was always clarity when it involved her, Rory. After our agreement to try again at a friendship, it seemed, we both put our entire being into making it work. We studied together, had movie nights with Lorelai together, ate lunch and more often then not, dinner together. She had thrown the door to her world wide open and I gladly took the invitation inside. I learned things about her that I would never have guessed, and I actually felt at ease, allowing her to know the real me and not the facade that I regularly wore.   
  
Having her in my life made everything seem brighter, like I was living in some kind of alternate universe. I wasn't alone anymore, and that was a feeling I couldn't describe. If things at home got too bad, I had someplace to go, someone to get away from it all with. Lorelai had opened her home to me on several occasions, allowing me to crash on the couch after a particularly horrible fight with my parents and I'll admit it, I wasn't opposed to seeing Rory in her pajamas, even if they were blue with little cows and moons with faces on them. On those nights, which usually ended up being on a weekend, Rory would make me spill about what had happened, and then offer advice that in her mind, she thought would help make things better. I never told her that it was useless, that nothing could make things better, just allowed her to keep thinking she was helping. After that, with her snuggled up next to me, a pot of coffee sitting on the table in front of us and a bowl of popcorn between us, we'd sit and watch movies until the early morning hours. Sometimes Lorelai would join us, but it never was a feeling of intrusion. On a couple occasions Christopher had taken part in this routine and Rory and I found his banter with Lorelai highly amusing. It was on these nights that I felt as though I actually belonged somewhere, as the real me, not the pretend me that fit in everywhere else. It was nice.  
  
Three weeks into our newly found friendship, something I hadn't anticipated, happened. It was a Wednesday afternoon, just like any other late October day, and I had given Rory a ride home from school, as we had a project to work on together. As we pulled into Stars Hollow she had declared she was starving and a stop at Luke's was highly necessary. When we arrived at the diner, we found Lorelai there, and she had demanded that we stay and join her because Luke was being... well, Luke. So there we all sat when all of a sudden the bell over the door rang and Dean stalked in and over to our table, not looking too happy to see me. Rory, being as intuitive as she was, got up and pulled him outside. Lorelai and I watched, with keen interest, from our table by the window as the two of them argued back and forth. A few minutes later Dean walked away, leaving Rory standing there beside the gazebo, her face hardened into a frown. She watched him disappear into the grocery store before turning on her heel and coming back inside. She flopped down in her chair beside me, her hair disheveled from the wind. It was then that she said the three words that made my heart soar and crack in pain for her at the same time.  
  
"We broke up."  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
It was another week before Rory even brought up the breakup again. We were sitting in her living room, books and papers everywhere as we attempted to cram for an upcoming history test, when suddenly she was on her feet, her face unreadable.  
  
"He didn't trust me," she blurted out, startling me out of my studying.  
  
"Stupid," I muttered, loud enough for her to hear. Of course I knew just who she was talking about.  
  
"I kept telling him that we're friends. That it wasn't like he kept saying it was. He didn't believe me, he kept insisting that something was going to happen between us, that you have a thing for me. He doesn't trust you, not that he should, after what happened at the dance, but he should trust me, you know? I've never given him any reason not to trust me, but he didn't. He didn't think that I was strong enough to decline whatever, I don't know what he thought was going to happen. I mean, we're friends. And this isn't the first time he brought this up. Every time you came here, the next day he'd be on me about it again, practically forbidding me from being friends with you. And I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand the jealousy, the irrational behavior when it came to you. Who was he to be the judge of who and who I cannot be friends with?" She finished her rant, her voice slightly higher and angrier then it had been when she had begun.   
  
They had broke up over me? I bit the inside of my mouth to keep the smile that threatened to appear. "He's an idiot, Rory. Even if he didn't trust me, he should have known to trust you. It's not a relationship if he doesn't."  
  
"That's what I said!" Rory sighed, falling back next to me on the couch. "It's just because it's you. If it had been Paris or anyone else, he wouldn't have had a problem, but because it's you he went all Girl, Interrupted on me."  
  
I chuckled at that and casually draped an arm over her shoulders. She leaned into my embrace, shaking her head before it came to rest on my shoulder. "So, Mary, you broke up with bag boy over wee little me," I whispered to her after a few seconds of silence. She groaned dramatically and slapped my knee, but didn't pick her head up from its current position.  
  
"You and that damn ego," she mumbled into my shirt, her voice teasing.   
  
"You know you love it," I said back, a smile stretching across my face.   
  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
  
That following Friday my family was once again summoned to join the Gilmore's at dinner and this time I managed to escape the dreaded dinner date with some random girl my parents normally forced upon me. We arrived on time, exchanged the usual greetings, sat in the sitting room until dinner was announced. Again, I found myself seated across from Rory, though this time the air was considerably less tense. We talked between courses, both of us engaging in the conversations the adults were having. I was surprised to see the look of approval stamped on my fathers face when his gaze shifted from Rory, to me. I ignored him and turned my attention back to Rory, who was discreetly elbowing Lorelai, who was hiding a laugh behind her wine glass, in the side while talking to her grandmother about the upcoming Debutante Ball, in which Emily had duped Rory into participating in.   
  
My mother chimed in then, saying something about how important it was for a young lady to 'come out.' Lorelai responded with a sarcastic agreement, which my mother of course took seriously. Emily shot Lorelai a look of disapproval, causing both Rory and I to bite our lips to keep from laughing. The rest of dinner went on pretty much the same way, with a few awkward moments of silence after Lorelai had tossed out a random comment that nobody knew how to respond to. Dessert was served and then the adults retired back to the sitting room, my father and Richard disappearing into the latter's office. Lorelai excused herself and headed up the stairs, Christopher following a few moments after. I was about to suggest we go to the library or something, but Rory beat me to it.  
  
"I could use some air," She announced, standing up. Emily glanced over at her and smiled, nodding.   
  
"Of course, dear. Make sure you take your coat, it's a bit chilly out tonight."  
  
"I will, Grandma," Rory promised before grabbing my hand and hauling me up and out of the room. We stopped just for a moment in the hall to grab our coats off the coat rack and then headed outside. It was on the cold outside, but what do you expect for November in Connecticut. She led the way around to the fence that opened up to the Gilmore's backyard. We walked around in an amicable silence, just enjoying the night until she came to an abrupt halt, gazing up at the house with a small smile playing on her lips.   
  
"What are you looking at?" I asked when she didn't say anything.  
  
Her smile widened and she pointed up at one of the balcony's jutting off the large manor. I turned my eyes to where she was pointing, a grin of my own spreading across my face when I saw it. Up on the second floor balcony, with the soft glow of the lights from inside illuminating them, was Lorelai and Christopher, locked in a tight embrace. Rory let out a soft sigh before tearing her gaze away. "C'mon, lets keep walking."  
  
I nodded and draped an arm around her shoulders as she continued on through the yard. We came to a stop once we reached the back patio, dropping down onto one of the cool benches. Sharing a smile, we continued to sit in a content silence until she turned to me.   
  
"Tristan, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
She fidgeted for a moment before meeting my eyes. I felt my breath catch in my throat when she looked at me, the moon behind her enhancing her natural beauty. She bit her lip in contemplation, "Why," she began hesitantly. "Why did you try so hard to be my friend and then do something stupid, only to try and be my friend again?" She finally spit out.  
  
I was at a loss for words. I had no idea how to answer that. "Well," I started, choosing my words carefully, "I wanted to be your friend because you intrigue me. You're this amazing person and when I met you, I knew I had to get you in my life, somehow. But I'm like five, I guess. I've never really had a girl as a friend before, so I didn't know to act around you."  
  
"I don't believe that," she said softly after a moment. "I mean, look at you now. You're a great friend."  
  
"I'm trying," I offered as a lame response.  
  
She was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Can I ask you something else?"  
  
I nodded and gazed at her expectantly. "Anything."  
  
Her cheeks tinted red and she looked down, allowing her hair to hide her face. I waited patiently for her to say something, but never would have guessed what that something was. After a few minutes, her head popped back up, her cheeks still flaming, an embarrassed expression on her face. "Umm... God, I can't believe I'm asking you this."  
  
"C'mon, Mary. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad."  
  
Her head bobbed up and down in a nod and her blush intensified but there was a look of fierce determination in her eyes. "Would you... um, would you kiss me?" She asked hurriedly, her face even redder then before.   
  
I know I looked stunned. How could I not? Of all the things that could've taken place, this? Never even entered my mind. I mean, of course kissing her was always in my mind, but her asking? No. I guess I took too long to respond, because she began fidgeting again.  
  
"It's okay. You don't have to. It was stupid of me to ask, I don't know what got into me, I'm sorry," she babbled, but her words were effectively cut off as I came out of my stupor. I gently pulled her to me, closing my mouth over hers in a kiss that was more then just a kiss. It was an event, an experience unparalleled. If I thought the kiss we had shared at Madeline's party last year was amazing, this one far exceeded it. It didn't last long, maybe a couple seconds, but I pulled back a changed man. I had kissed Rory Gilmore, _twice_. Rory Gilmore had asked me to kiss her, she had _wanted_ me to kiss her. I swear I couldn't even form another coherent thought, other then that.   
  
Rory's blush had faded, but now she was staring at me thoughtfully, her blue eyes glazed over with wonder, her lower lip tucked between her teeth as she pondered what had just happened. Finally a smile broke through and I let out a sigh of relief. She was about to speak, but Christopher stuck his head out the back door.   
  
"Hey, kiddo, you ready to go?"  
  
Rory nodded and stood, and I followed. She paused just outside the door, stopping me in my tracks. Her gaze was fixated at me and she smiled. "Thank you," she said softly before slipping back inside, leaving me staring after her.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
Hee! Well, I figured that we realllly should get some troryness going on here. I mean, come the 28th of this month, this story is going to be a year old and so far there has been nothing.. so here's some fluff. Or something. Updates should be more frequent now, I think. :)  
  
-- Shay   



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